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A House-Boat on the Styx

Creator: Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922
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would have been almost impossible for Noah and his sons to construct the Ark in the time they did with the assistance of only two hands apiece. Think, however, of how fast they could work with the assistance of that third arm. Noah could hammer a clapboard on to the Ark with two hands while grasping a saw and cutting a new board or planing it off with his tail. So with the others. We all know how much a third hand would help us at times." "But how do you account for its disappearance?" put in Doctor Livingstone. "Is it likely they would dispense with such a useful adjunct?" "No, it isn't; but there are various ways of accounting for its loss," said Munchausen. "They may have overworked it building the Ark; Shem, Ham, or Japheth may have had his caught in the door of the Ark and cut off in the hurry of the departure; plenty of things may have happened to eliminate it. Men lose their hair and their teeth; why might not a man lose a tail? Scientists say that coming generations far in the future will be toothless and bald. Why may it not be that through causes unknown to us we are similarly deprived of something our forefathers had?" "The only reason for man's losing his hair is that he wears a hat all the time," said Livingstone. "The Derby hat is the enemy of hair. It is hot, and dries up the scalp. You might as well try to raise watermelons
The Pleasures of a Single Life, Or, The Miseries of Matrimony

THE PLEASURES OF A SINGLE LIFE Or, The Miseries of Matrimony Occasionally Writ Upon the many DIVORCES lately Granted by Parliament. WITH THE CHOICE, OR, THE _Pleasures of a Country_-LIFE. _Dedicated to the_ Beaus _against the next Vacation._ _London_: Printed and Sold by _H. Hills_, in _Black-fryars_, near the Water-side. 1709. _Price One Penny._ Wedlock, oh! Curs'd uncomfortable State,
in the Desert of Sahara as to try to raise hair under the modern hat. In fact, the modern hat is a furnace." "Well, it's a mighty good furnace," observed Munchausen. "You don't have to put coal on the modern hat." "Perhaps," interposed Thackeray, "the ancients wore their hats on their tails." "Well, I have a totally different theory," said Johnson. "You always did have," observed Munchausen. "Very likely," said Johnson. "To be commonplace never was my ambition." "What is your theory?" queried Livingstone. "Well--I don't know," said Johnson, "if it be worth expressing." "It may be worth sending by freight," interrupted Thackeray. "Let us have it." "Well, I believe," said Johnson--"I believe that Adam was a monkey." "He behaved like one," ejaculated Thackeray.