[38 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN] on the premises'. So when the Master came to know who it was as did it, which in course the porter told him, he said as how Mr. Bouncer had better go down into the country for a year, for change of hair, and to visit his friends." "Very kind, indeed, of Dr. Portman," said our hero, who missed the moral of the story, and took the rustication for a kind forgiveness of injuries. "Just what Mr. Bouncer said, sir," replied the scout, "he said it ~were~ pertickler kind and thoughtful. This is his room, sir, he come up on'y yesterday." And he pointed to a door, above which was painted in white letters on a black ground, "BOUNCER." "Why," said Mr. Green to his son, "now I think of it, Bouncer was the name of that short young gentleman who came with us on the coach yesterday, and made himself so - so unpleasant with a tin horn." "That's the gent, sir," observed the scout; "that's Mr. Bouncer, agoing the complete unicorn, as he calls it. I dare say you'll find him a pleasant neighbour, sir. Your rooms is next to his." With some doubts of these prospective pleasures, the Mr. Greens, ~pere et fils~, entered through a double door painted over the outside, with the name of "SMALLS"; to which Mr. Filcher directed our hero's attention by saying, "You can have that name took out, sir, and your own name painted in. Mr. Smalls has just moved hisself to the other quad, and that's why the rooms is vacant, sir." Mr. Filcher then went on to point out the properties and capabilities of the rooms, and also their mechanical contrivances. "This is the hoak, this 'ere outer door is, sir, which the gentlemen sports, that is to say, shuts, sir, when they're a readin'. Not as Mr. Smalls ever hinterfered with his constitootion by too much 'ard study, sir; he only sported his hoak when people used to get troublesome about their little bills. Here's a place for coals, sir, though Mr. Smalls, he kept his bull-terrier there, which was agin the regulations, as ~you~ know, sir." (Verdant nodded his head, as though he were perfectly aware of the fact.) "This ere's your bed-room, sir. Very small, did you say, sir? Oh, no, sir; not by no means! ~We~ thinks that in college reether a biggish bed-room, sir. Mr. Smalls thought so, sir, and he's in his second year, ~he~ is." (Mr. Filcher thoroughly understood the science of "flooring" a freshman.) "This is ~my~ room, sir, this is, for keepin' your cups and saucers, and wine-glasses and tumblers, and them sort o' things, and washin' 'em up when you wants 'em. If you likes to keep