'Tis done by electricity, through aid Of batteries in the basement; I've wires laid All through the house--now see this knob I touch Causes two wires in contact swift to rush, Then an electro magnet turns the stop, At the same moment sparks from out them hop, The gas is thus ignited--'tis not all, You see along the ceiling, down that wall, On either side the gas jet placed, a bar. Each of a different metal, one has far More power than has the other to expand When hot, which makes it bend, you understand, In doing so it acts upon a rod And lever, under whose constraining nod A catch which holds the shutters is set free, And with a spring they close to instantly. The metal, as he touched it, heated grew, And, as by magic, shutters were closed to. 'Tis very cleverly arranged, I say, But here's a knob marked with the letter A; What is its use? This A stands for alarm, When pressed in case of fire or threatened harm, A large alarum placed above the roof, Soon to the neighbours gives convincing proof; We won't try that just now as its sound, would Undoubtedly alarm the neighbourhood. But see, in this recess with curtained way Is a self-acting shower-bath that you may Try in the morning if you're so inclined. There's just one more contrivance yet I find That I must show you; by your bed side stands A nest of speaking tubes; this one commands My bedroom, number two, my sister's, and The third, Jane's room; this last, you understand, Might be convenient should you e'er require, If ill, an early cup of tea, or fire. Is Jane the pretty housemaid? I reply, She is, you sly boy, but she's coy and shy. Harry, I thought you'd known me better to---- All right, old boy, I was but joking you. Harry now left. When dressed for dinner I Resolved tube numbered one at once to try, I blew the whistle, from the other end Hallo, was quickly answered by my friend. I'm waiting to go down, will you be long? I'm ready now, came mellowly along, And so we met upon the landing soon, And joined the ladies in the drawing-room. A charming little dinner o'er, and then The ladies left and we were chatting when