conscious of the irregularity of words too slow to express his
thoughts. He must have been compelled to copy these chaotic attempts,
for the lines often ran into each other; but he was also afraid
perhaps of not having sufficiently disguised his feelings, and at
first, at any rate, he had probably written his love-letters twice
over.
It required all the fervency of my devotion to his memory, and the
sort of fanaticism which comes of such a task, to enable me to divine
and restore the meaning of the five letters that here follow. These
documents, preserved by me with pious care, are the only material
evidence of his overmastering passion. Mademoiselle de Villenoix had
no doubt destroyed the real letters that she received, eloquent
witnesses to the delirium she inspired.
The first of these papers, evidently a rough sketch, betrays by its
style and by its length the many emendations, the heartfelt alarms,
the innumerable terrors caused by a desire to please; the changes of
expression and the hesitation between the whirl of ideas that beset a
man as he indites his first love-letter--a letter he never will
forget, each line the result of a reverie, each word the subject of
long cogitation, while the most unbridled passion known to man feels
the necessity of the most reserved utterance, and like a giant
stooping to enter a hovel, speaks humbly and low, so as not to alarm a
girl's soul.
Book 06 Joshua
001:001 Now it happened after the death of Moses the servant of Yahweh,
that Yahweh spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' servant, saying,
001:002 Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan,
you, and all this people, to the land which I give to them,
even to the children of Israel.
001:003 I have given you every place that the sole of your foot will
tread on, as I told Moses.
001:004 From the wilderness, and this Lebanon, even to the great river,
the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites,
and to the great sea toward the going down of the sun,
shall be your border.
001:005 No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life.
As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not fail
you nor forsake you.
001:006 Be strong and of good courage; for you shall cause this
people to inherit the land which I swore to their fathers
to give them.
001:007 Only be strong and very courageous, to observe to do according
to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded you.
Don't turn from it to the right hand or to the left,
No antiquary ever handled his palimpsests with greater respect than I
showed in reconstructing these mutilated documents of such joy and
suffering as must always be sacred to those who have known similar joy
and grief.
I
"Mademoiselle, when you have read this letter, if you ever should
read it, my life will be in your hands, for I love you; and to me,
the hope of being loved is life. Others, perhaps, ere now, have,
in speaking of themselves, misused the words I must employ to
depict the state of my soul; yet, I beseech you to believe in the
truth of my expressions; though weak, they are sincere. Perhaps I
ought not thus to proclaim my love. Indeed, my heart counseled me
to wait in silence till my passion should touch you, that I might
the better conceal it if its silent demonstrations should
displease you; or till I could express it even more delicately
than in words if I found favor in your eyes. However, after having
listened for long to the coy fears that fill a youthful heart with
alarms, I write in obedience to the instinct which drags useless
lamentations from the dying.
"It has needed all my courage to silence the pride of poverty, and