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Lysistrata

Creator: Aristophanes, 446? BC-385? BC
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How unfortunate I am! O my poor flax! It's left at home unstript. LYSISTRATA So here's another That wishes to go home and strip her flax. Inside again! 2ND WOMAN No, by the Goddess of Light, I'll be back as soon as I have flayed it properly. LYSISTRATA You'll not flay anything. For if you begin There'll not be one here but has a patch to be flayed. 3RD WOMAN O holy Eilithyia, stay this birth Till I have left the precincts of the place!
Laicus; Or, the Experiences of a Layman in a Country Parish.

CHAPTER I. How I happened to go to Wheathedge. ABOUT sixty miles north of New York city,--not as the crow flies, for of the course of that bird I have no knowledge or information sufficient to form a belief, but as the Mary Powell ploughs her way up the tortuous channel of the Hudson river,--lies the little village of Wheathedge. A more beautiful site even this most beautiful of rivers does not possess. As I sit now in my library, I raise my eyes from my writing and look east to see the morning sun just rising in the gap and pouring a long golden flood of light upon the awaking village below and about me, and gilding the spires of the not far distant city of Newtown, and making even its smoke ethereal, as though throngs of angels hung over the city unrecognized by its too busy inhabitants. Before me the majestic river broadens out into a bay where now the ice-boats play back and forth, and day after day
LYSISTRATA What nonsense is this? 3RD WOMAN I'll drop it any minute. LYSISTRATA Yesterday you weren't with child. 3RD WOMAN But I am today. O let me find a midwife, Lysistrata. O quickly! LYSISTRATA Now what story is this you tell? What is this hard lump here? 3RD WOMAN It's a male child.