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The Unspeakable Perk

Creator: Adams, Samuel Hopkins, 1871-1958
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"Eh?" responded the sitter absently. "What would you do if I should bat you one in the eye?" "Eh, what?" "What would you do to me?" "You, too?" cried the bewildered Perkins. "Why on earth--" "You'd dive into my knees, wouldn't you, and tip me over backward?" "Oh, that!" A slow grin overspread the space beneath the glasses. "That was the idea." "I know the trick. It's a good one--except for the guy that gets it." "It wouldn't have hurt him. He'd have landed in the fountain." "So he would. What then?" "Oh, I'd have held him there till he got cooled off, and then made a run for it. A wet man can't catch a dry man."
Michael

Produced by Donald Lainson MICHAEL by E. F. Benson CHAPTER I Though there was nothing visibly graceful about Michael Comber, he apparently had the art of giving gracefully. He had already told his cousin Francis, who sat on the arm of the sofa by his table, that there was no earthly excuse for his having run into debt; but now when the moment came for giving, he wrote the cheque quickly and eagerly, as if
"Say, son, YOU'RE a dry one, all right." "Eh?" "Wake up! I'm saying you're all right." "Much obliged." "You certainly took enough off him to rile a sheep. Why didn't you do it?" "Do what?" "Tip him in." Perkins glanced upward at the balcony where the vines had closed upon a face that smiled. "Oh," he said mildly, "he's a friend of a friend of mine." IV TWO ON A MOUNTAIN-SIDE ORCHIDS do not, by preference, grow upon a cactus plant. Little